Dear Feeling Stuck,
I think most of us feel stuck in one way or another at some point in our lives. Whether it's stuck at a job, in a relationship, in our spiritual walk, or just in general, it's hard to know what to do when you feel stuck.
I've felt stuck in my life circumstances for the past couple of months. I have wondered whether or not to leave my job and find something new. I've felt stuck with finances and not being able to move. I've also felt stuck spiritually. I've felt like God has been silent lately and has not answered my questions about what to do next in my life. There are a lot of unknowns in my life right now and those unknowns have filled me with overwhelming anxiety. My anxiety has caused me to question whether I've made the right decisions or followed the right path or let my apathy or fear hold me back...And the list goes on and on. But the biggest question I have that keeps me up at night is, "Am I wasting my life?"
One of my biggest fears is that one day I will look back on my life and realized I've wasted it. I think that fear is what causes most of my anxiety about what decisions to make and what I should do with my life. I don't want to make the wrong decision and end up down the wrong path and waste away years of, if not my entire, life. But the thing is, I shouldn't be worrying about this. I feel like God has been trying to show me this. Last week at church, one of the staff members came up to the front and said, "Our prayer team has the sense that there are some people here who feel stuck." As soon as he said that and then asked those of us to come forward and receive prayer, I knew that God was speaking directly to me. So I went forward and received prayer. There's something about having a stranger pray for you that's completely humbling and also an incredible blessing. I got emotional and started crying in the middle of it. But then that night I went home with the biggest sense of peace I have felt in a long time. In fact, I have continued to feel that peace since then.
Scripture says that if we trust in God, He will direct our paths and make them straight. It's not up to us to plan out our whole lives or even what the next step in our life is. I know I want it to be up to Him. He knows way better than we do what's best for us and He can see the whole picture, while we can only see a tiny speck. We have to trust that even though we may not be getting answers right now, we will eventually. Or maybe God has a reason for us to be "stuck" right where we are.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Dream Weaver
I have many dreams for my life. Some are completely unrealistic and just for fun and others are some of my deepest desires that I truly hope come true some day. Last night I was really struggling against feelings of frustration because I haven't seen one of my biggest dreams come into fruition yet. I was writing in the notebook I use as my prayer journal. My best friend actually gave me the notebook awhile ago. She decorated the front cover with a collage of magazine pictures and words of things I love and dreams I have. One of the things she put on there were the words "Dream Weaver." I caught a glimpse of the words as I was writing and I immediately sensed God telling me, "I am your dream weaver." It made me stop and think.
It's true, God is my dream weaver. He put a lot of the dreams I have into my heart and he is weaving and creating them into something beautiful. I thought of spiders and how they weave their webs. Their webs are unique, intricate, detailed, and take time to make. They create them in different places. Sometimes they're moved and sometimes they're destroyed. This is what God does in my life and heart. He weaves my dreams together. Sometimes they change into something completely different, sometimes they're taken away. But they have always have a purpose. And the ones that he has finished creating end up being beautiful.
I felt like God used those words and the image of a spider weaving its web to let me know He is still working on my dreams. He is still working behind the scenes to make things happen. He is still in control. I have to remember this when I feel frustrated and like nothing is happening. I need to remember it when I am doubting Him and trying to take control of things. God is my dream weaver.
Ephesians 3:20 NIV "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."
It's true, God is my dream weaver. He put a lot of the dreams I have into my heart and he is weaving and creating them into something beautiful. I thought of spiders and how they weave their webs. Their webs are unique, intricate, detailed, and take time to make. They create them in different places. Sometimes they're moved and sometimes they're destroyed. This is what God does in my life and heart. He weaves my dreams together. Sometimes they change into something completely different, sometimes they're taken away. But they have always have a purpose. And the ones that he has finished creating end up being beautiful.
I felt like God used those words and the image of a spider weaving its web to let me know He is still working on my dreams. He is still working behind the scenes to make things happen. He is still in control. I have to remember this when I feel frustrated and like nothing is happening. I need to remember it when I am doubting Him and trying to take control of things. God is my dream weaver.
Ephesians 3:20 NIV "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Having A Servant's Heart
For a while now, I have felt like God has placed it on my heart to find a way to serve others. I've let busyness and other things get in the way and pushed it down to the bottom of my priority list. But about a month ago, God was consistently reminding me of it. I heard about serving all week. Serving others was what we read about in my Bible study that week. Then I went to church and the sermon was about having a servant's heart.
Serving others is what Jesus calls all of us to do. Serving doesn't necessarily mean we have to go to another country or go on a mission trip. Those are great things but we can do it right here, where we live. We can serve in our churches, communities, or in other organizations. One of the best places to start is right in our homes with our loved ones/families/roommates. Even doing small things for each other is a form of service and love.
The sermon I heard a month ago was about being a servant and what that looks like. The pastor spoke about one of the first people that came to mind when he thought of someone with a servant's heart. He thought of the church's custodian. He said the custodian is one of the most joyful people he has ever met and he has never once heard him complain about anything. He told a story about how the church staff and volunteers were at a meeting a while ago. Someone asked the custodian what he did at the church. He replied, "I have the best job here! I get to prepare the place for people to come and meet God." Bam. When I heard that, I almost cried. That is a true servant right there. Someone who cleans up other people's messes and who probably rarely gets recognized for everything he does, and still loves doing it because it's all for God. That is exactly the kind of heart and attitude I want to have.
Matthew 20:26-27 NIV "...Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave-just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom to many."
Serving others is what Jesus calls all of us to do. Serving doesn't necessarily mean we have to go to another country or go on a mission trip. Those are great things but we can do it right here, where we live. We can serve in our churches, communities, or in other organizations. One of the best places to start is right in our homes with our loved ones/families/roommates. Even doing small things for each other is a form of service and love.
The sermon I heard a month ago was about being a servant and what that looks like. The pastor spoke about one of the first people that came to mind when he thought of someone with a servant's heart. He thought of the church's custodian. He said the custodian is one of the most joyful people he has ever met and he has never once heard him complain about anything. He told a story about how the church staff and volunteers were at a meeting a while ago. Someone asked the custodian what he did at the church. He replied, "I have the best job here! I get to prepare the place for people to come and meet God." Bam. When I heard that, I almost cried. That is a true servant right there. Someone who cleans up other people's messes and who probably rarely gets recognized for everything he does, and still loves doing it because it's all for God. That is exactly the kind of heart and attitude I want to have.
Matthew 20:26-27 NIV "...Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave-just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom to many."
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
The Next Chapter
My birthday is coming up this weekend. The thought of my birthday often brings up mixed emotions for me. On the one hand, I'm excited and happy about spending time with my friends and family. But on the other, it often also brings up feelings of sadness, anxiety, and frustration.
Birthdays represent a lot of things for different people. For me, it's a symbol of getting older and the loss of my youth. This makes me sad sometimes. Birthdays are also a time of reflection for me. It's when I stop to think about my life and what has happened throughout the past year. It's good that I do this because I'm reminded of how I've grown and changed things in my life. It also reminds me of all the blessings that God has given me and all the ways I have seen Him working in my life. But looking back can also make me frustrated. I see that some things still haven't changed, that I'm still waiting for prayers to be answered, and that I'm still struggling with the same things. That's so frustrating sometimes. It makes me feel like things are never going to change and that I should just stop trying altogether.
I also get anxious thinking about the upcoming year and future. What trials will I have to endure next? Should I be doing something else? Should I change things regarding my career? Will I still be single at this time next year? Am I going to end up a crazy old spinster with a bunch of dogs? And the list of questions goes on. Sometimes I almost can't breathe thinking about these things. But that's when I sense God telling me to stop and be still. He knows what's going to happen and His plan is perfect. I just have to trust and follow Him.
At the beginning of this year, I really felt a renewed sense of hope and excitement about this upcoming year and my future. I feel like God has a lot in store for me and I am really looking forward to seeing how He works in my life and those around me. I've been clinging onto this hope lately with my birthday looming around the corner. I know God is right here walking next to me through my present stage in life. But I also know He's working on the next chapter of my life and whatever happens, He's already there. It's so comforting to know that.
Luke 12:25 NIV "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?"
Birthdays represent a lot of things for different people. For me, it's a symbol of getting older and the loss of my youth. This makes me sad sometimes. Birthdays are also a time of reflection for me. It's when I stop to think about my life and what has happened throughout the past year. It's good that I do this because I'm reminded of how I've grown and changed things in my life. It also reminds me of all the blessings that God has given me and all the ways I have seen Him working in my life. But looking back can also make me frustrated. I see that some things still haven't changed, that I'm still waiting for prayers to be answered, and that I'm still struggling with the same things. That's so frustrating sometimes. It makes me feel like things are never going to change and that I should just stop trying altogether.
I also get anxious thinking about the upcoming year and future. What trials will I have to endure next? Should I be doing something else? Should I change things regarding my career? Will I still be single at this time next year? Am I going to end up a crazy old spinster with a bunch of dogs? And the list of questions goes on. Sometimes I almost can't breathe thinking about these things. But that's when I sense God telling me to stop and be still. He knows what's going to happen and His plan is perfect. I just have to trust and follow Him.
At the beginning of this year, I really felt a renewed sense of hope and excitement about this upcoming year and my future. I feel like God has a lot in store for me and I am really looking forward to seeing how He works in my life and those around me. I've been clinging onto this hope lately with my birthday looming around the corner. I know God is right here walking next to me through my present stage in life. But I also know He's working on the next chapter of my life and whatever happens, He's already there. It's so comforting to know that.
Luke 12:25 NIV "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?"
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